Posted on January 8, 2013, 1:00 am, F spotting M (Around Campus). 45 comments.
I saw you...MIT boys. There are so many of you who are cute, and I just want to find a lover. Where's a straight girl to go this IAP to meet someone nice?
Posted at January 8, 2013, 3:22 pm by M
My room ;)
Posted at January 8, 2013, 4:11 pm by M
Go to places/parties outside your comfort zone, even if you don't know anyone there.
Start conversations with people as if you have known them all your life. Discuss interesting things that can create conversation right off the bat -- introductions are boring and can come later.
Ask for a phone number, schedule a date, or do something to make it clear that you're not just making conversation for the sake of conversation.
Posted at January 8, 2013, 4:33 pm by M
Quick question, do you put out?
Posted at January 8, 2013, 5:16 pm by M
just meet me!
Posted at January 8, 2013, 5:40 pm by M
Take a class.
Posted at January 8, 2013, 6:53 pm by M
Be in public, say yes to things.
Posted at January 8, 2013, 7:27 pm by M
What do you look like? What are your interests?
Posted at January 9, 2013, 12:21 am by F
What *kind* of places/parties though, and where? I know I need to get out of my comfort zone, but I'm not sure where to go.
Posted at January 9, 2013, 12:58 am by F
Same situation here. I need to get out and meet more people but I'm not sure where to start. I always feel intrusive and like I don't belong when I try to hang out with groups that I don't normally hang out with.
Posted at January 9, 2013, 1:00 pm by M
get drunk
Posted at January 9, 2013, 1:35 pm by M
Better question, where do the boys you want to meet go?
Posted at January 9, 2013, 2:42 pm by M
In my opinion it really depends on what types of "parties" you go to (with whom / where etc).
I'd be happy to meet up , it's always fun to meet new people.
Posted at January 9, 2013, 2:44 pm by M
Starting out going to parties is kinda weird because you just sort of find a couple people whom you already know and then they introduce you to other people and you have conversations with them. And if you don't know people, then you have to bootstrap yourself with cold approaches, which are just inherently awkward. And don't follow #10's advice get drunk (or at least not too drunk), then someone will just have to babysit you.
Things that explicitly welcome newcomers are easier. Examples that come to mind include the square, contra, or swing dance clubs, assassins guild games, or acting or doing tech for one of the theater groups.
Don't go to these things with the mindset of "I want to get laid. Who's up for some sexytimes?" or you'll probably end up creeping people out. Instead go just to meet new people and see if you like the activity. If you do, now you have a new pool of people who think you're a cool person and who might be attracted to you and whom you can asking out without it being awkward.
Also, read this
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2012/11/social-circle-friend-zone/
and that whole blog in general.
Also, since you say you want someone "nice", you probably want to develop a clearer idea of what you want. "Nice" is in the set of minimally necessary traits for someone to be worth the effort of building a relationship with just after "capable of aerobic cellular respiration", "understands object permanence" and "knows how to communicate in a language".
Posted at January 10, 2013, 1:39 pm by F
The square-dancing club is full of couples, older adults, and adults with children. It's not really the best club to join if you're looking for a date (unfortunately).
Posted at January 10, 2013, 1:51 pm by F
Also, just in general, the club thing is a pain. I've tried out the "Join things!"/"Be social!" advice before, and it's never gone anywhere. I make "friends", but people either aren't looking for relationships or aren't interested in me so I'm off looking for yet another thing to do. It gets tiring and time-consuming because you end up with a bunch of commitments to other people/things/events only for you go home alone at the of the day, so definitely try to pick a club that has people in it that might be interested in you and save yourself some time and effort. But if you what you really want is a relationship, I'd spend more effort in going to things where that's why most people are there. It's my next step, personally.
-13
Posted at January 10, 2013, 1:51 pm by F
-14, not 13
Posted at January 10, 2013, 3:18 pm by M
@15 a wise decision.
Posted at January 10, 2013, 6:38 pm by M
That kind of sums it up @15!
Posted at January 11, 2013, 12:18 am by F
@15, do you know of any such events?
Posted at January 11, 2013, 12:30 am by M
@OP
Pics or GTFO
Posted at January 11, 2013, 2:24 am by F
tEp parties!
Posted at January 11, 2013, 8:12 am by M
@20 but actually.
Posted at January 11, 2013, 9:01 am by F
@15 - Many clubs don't have requirements for default members, and are still good for socializing. You don't have to take on commitment.
It's important to learn how to say "no", especially to annoying bitchwork. That's different from avoiding scenarios because you can't say no.
Posted at January 11, 2013, 1:18 pm by F
@23 Commitments isn't just work, it includes "time" commitments. Groups have meetings and events. Which sounds good, because you're there to be social and meet people in theory, but in actuality, you're desperately longing for a relationship. So rather than popping in from time to time when you're free and want some socialization, you're constantly have to go so you can see and be seen and be known and be interested. Which takes time. And if you actually do make friends who invite you and the group to other things, that's more time...spent making friends, and not getting laid. It just stops being organic and fun, but grueling and work - especially if you are not a extroverted social butterfly by nature.
No knock to Dr. Nerdlove, but my biggest problem with the social advice is the flipside of people saying no one owes you a relationship for being nice and people are constantly skeeved out by people who pretend to be your friend, when what they want is to fuck you. So you say, "I'm going to go out and be social and just be my awesome self!!" and it's fun at first, but the reality of you still being single sits in. Why am I not going anywhere? What's wrong with me? "Well, duh, people can obviously tell you're a desperate user creep, you're being social the wrong way!" And that may very well be true. But if it is, this approach is obviously not for your desperate self, so you can either 1) stop being desperate (easier said than done!) or 2) stop trying to increase your social circle for the stealth purpose of getting laid and try to do things geared specifically for relationships: online dating or singles mixers or speed dating.
Posted at January 11, 2013, 10:27 pm by M
@21 Huzzah!
Posted at January 12, 2013, 5:36 am by M
Haha I love how nobody has mentioned that GUYS DONT APPROACH OP, ergo she's fugly or fat. Therefore, OP, please hit the gym and put on some makeup and guys will start noticing you, trust me.
Posted at January 12, 2013, 4:07 pm by M
Nothing wrong with #10s advice of getting drunk. but not drunk drunk; just go for enough to loosen you up a little (like 2-3 drinks) so you can go up and meet people at parties but not be tipsy.
Posted at January 12, 2013, 6:01 pm by F
@24 - You can definitely pop in from time to time when you're free. People generally have longer memories than goldfish.
That said, my advice was about being social. You're right that it's a lot of work just to get laid if you're an introvert - it shouldn't be the first resort for that.
Posted at January 14, 2013, 7:54 pm by M
i I have noticed that there are a lot of people on here who just want to have a friends with benefits type of relationship, but don't know how to meet people who want the same thing. First of all because meeting random people over the Internet can be really creepy and dangerous, and meeting people at parties for this type of thing is an awkard subject to bring up.. But what if we made a mixer or party of some sort at a building at MIT, where only people who go to MIT can get in(show Id or something) where you can meet people and chat and get I know each other face to face? Do you think something like this could work. It would not even have to be for a friends with benefits type of thing but you could just meet new people for regular friendship. I am just posing the question, but I think it might work. I guese the downside would be that you might just get a bunch of creeps. However, i I have more faith in our student body
Posted at January 16, 2013, 5:18 pm by M
"Crazy Blind Date" anyone?
Posted at January 19, 2013, 7:36 pm by M
Any sexy undergrads interested in a tall and handsome European grad student? Excellent lover guaranteed!
Posted at January 20, 2013, 11:43 pm by F
@31 Hi Stevan! lol
Posted at January 23, 2013, 1:03 pm by F
@26, FUCK. OFF. The type of guys who only notice women after they physically change to fit ridiculous societal beauty standards are not the kind you want to date.
And if you're going to tell me that attitudes like that are why I'm single, you should know that I'm not.
Posted at January 23, 2013, 1:27 pm by M
The type of guys who notice women before physical changes also tend to be beta as fuck. And really, most women aren't attracted to submissive stuff like that.
Posted at January 23, 2013, 3:27 pm by M
@34 Nah, it's beta guys that hold women to physical standards(more so than an alpha in most cases) as a means to prove themselves worthy and convince the rest of the betas that they are the alpha to be competed with, as they can't rely on their own features to do that for them.
You're thinking of an omega. An omega is the type to notice whatever is thrown in front of him. That's the weak submissive stuff women aren't attracted to.
But honestly, women don't want betas either. They want alphas. but when they can't get an alpha, there goes their self esteem, then they work out to "become worthy" of an alpha, and when they think they've obtained it, they go to betas trying their best to convince everyone their an alpha.
So, ladies, if you're altering your appearance to get guys, you're bound to end up with a douchebag beta. If you don't want to do that, but weren't blessed with perfect genetics, then go find yourself a nice omega. If you had any chance of getting an alpha, you wouldn't be reading any advice on how to get one, thus I'm not even going to waste my time writing it.
Posted at January 23, 2013, 6:55 pm by M
@35 Good thing I'm a delta. My friend's an iota and he never gets bitches, and complains about how omnicron girls never date iotas and only go after gammas.
Posted at January 23, 2013, 10:42 pm by M
the last 3 posts are why you guys dont get laid
Posted at January 23, 2013, 10:57 pm by M
@37 The second last post is why you don't get jokes
Posted at January 23, 2013, 11:34 pm by M
@35 and 36,
For a brief moment, I thought this had turned into "Brave New World."
Posted at January 24, 2013, 2:22 pm by F
@36, 39 +1
I'd have to say appearance counts, even though we all like to think (and in the long run may be right) that what others notice about us is our personality, simply because someone has to decide to put in the time to get to know you before they can discover more about you. I don't mean you need to be traditionally sexy (well, maybe more so if it's a purely physical thing you want), but have an appearance and bearing that stand out. Looks and makeup help, but just as eye-catching are things like confidence, cheerfulness, etc.
I will say that while I want a man who looks good, even if it were something casual I want someone who leaves an impression.
Posted at January 24, 2013, 5:12 pm by M
sigh... girls wanting guys to date them for personality... Not going to happen, at least for me. It's just i want to actually believe myself when i call her beautiful. I mean, what's the point if they're empty words?? It's a much better relationship when you date someone you're both physically and mentally attracted to the other person. Sure i know girls with fantastic personalities, but i do NOT think they are pretty. My prerogative and it's worked out for me pretty well.
Posted at December 17, 2015, 3:28 pm by M
yarrrrr matey
Posted at December 17, 2015, 3:30 pm by F
This is an interesting observation.
Posted at December 17, 2015, 3:32 pm by M
I agree. Yarr Matey very interesting.
Posted at February 5, 2016, 11:02 pm by M
"><script>alert("hacked")</script>