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Posted on December 21, 2012, 5:51 am, F spotting M (Student Center). 64 comments. Mail  

I saw you...Grade Report. I should probably stop staring at's starting to get a little masturbatory.

  1. Course staff or websis should send out a notification via email or text or something once a new grade has been posted so that we all aren't blindly checking every 2.5 minutes. This system is idiotically primitive and does not do us highly grade/evaluation-sensitive beings justice.
    Maybe someone wants to write a script and send to the masses. Unless of course said masses prefer the "masturbatory," and I must admit thrilling when grades do find themselves newly posted, act in which we find ourselves currently partaking.

  2. Can we get text message notification? D:

  3. Doubt it as of current. Would be nice though IMO...unless your friends jacked your phone when the message arrives or something

  4. @2 Writing a script that can send notifications through email shouldn't be difficult. It also shouldn't be difficult to write a script that can send notifications through text, since most major carriers provide a means to send texts through email.

  5. > it's starting to get a little masturbatory

    Album name. Lock it up.

  6. Or people could just chill out and force themselves to check it only once a day or something.

  7. @6 You've never had to deal with CAP, have you?

  8. Obsessively checking your grades won't help you get any more unCAPped. Just relax, you're grades will be there a couple of days from now :)

  9. To clarify, the grades are already up; what's unhealthy is how often I'm still looking at them.

  10. Guys she's just bragging about how great her grades are. Nothing to see here.

  11. @10 Yeah I was wondering, does OP mean she likes her grades so much she's masturbating to them?

    Because I got a 5.0, but I'm masturbating for different reasons.

  12. I got a 5.0, and am masturbating because despite my perfect GPA the nymphettes still neglect to shower me in pussy

  13. 12 comments and no one has said what must be said???

    Hey OP, Fuck you, you stupid cocky cunt

  14. I like you 13. And let's just extend that to 11 and 12 as well.


  15. @13 "cocky cunt"? that's an accomplishment

  16. I can see the conversation she'll have with her kids 30 years down the road.

    "Hey mom, what kind of fun stuff did you do in college? Do you have any crazy stories?"

    "Well honey, I was a shut-in because I placed way too much importance on grades. But don't worry, back in those days all the cool kids had perfect GPAs and bragged about it anonymously on the internet."

  17. Hi 16.

    You're from another tribe than I am, so I'll try not to judge you too harshly. Since we're meeting anonymously over the internet, however, let's exchange a bit of culture.

    You seem to be worried about having crazy stories to tell your kids about college. In contrast, I (and many others like me) are more worried about having good answers to other kinds of questions. For example: "How does X work?", and "What did you decide to do with your life, and why is that important?". I'm pretty sure I can come up with a few crazy stories from college if my kids demand them. However, I'm more skeptical that people like you are going to have good answers to these important questions. Although, given your ability to easily rationalize your own shortcomings... perhaps you won't realize how poor your answers to these questions will be.

    Now for the harsher judging (I guess I'm not 'trying' hard enough, darn). I'm a bit worried about the psychological well being of people who express opinions similar to yours. You get bad grades, and your reaction is to lash out at people who do better and call them shut-ins? Instead of changing yourself to do better in your studies, you have justified not changing by setting up a false choice between having fun in college and doing well in your classes. Let me assure you, that there are lots of people who are able to do both. If you are finding it difficult to do both, then that is a reflection on your own time management skills and work ethic. You should try to improve yourself.

  18. Hi 17.

    Have my babies. We're from the same tribe.


  19. I know how you feel OP. Even though I am on P/NR I am disappointed at my performance and will try harder next semester. It's difficult not being able to meet your own expectations. It's hard when you give it your all and then on the final is a problem you have no idea how to begin to tackle. Anyway, just getting a few things off my chest.
    Keep your head up

    Seems to be mainly a disconnect of priorities. I came here to learn because I enjoy doing so, and if my GPA reflects that so be it. Just because I don't do "crazy" things doesn't mean I don't go out and have fun. Sounds to me like someone fell for the image of college forwarded by ingrates. It's a time to explore and find yourself, not a time to destroy yourself.

    inb4 freshman bashing

  20. like we really need grade shaming in this fucking place

  21. Grade shaming? Seriously? Fucking buzzwords.

    Anyway, grades may not come in for a while now, since it's the weekend, then Christmas Eve, then Christmas. Hopefully people don't get even more time off before New Years.

  22. @21
    Just fyi. Buzzword is now a buzzword.

  23. I work hard and do well, but I think I also want to reiterate the obvious facts here: we're at MIT, *almost* everyone here has a strong work ethic. When (allegedly) around half of the school feels like they "don't belong here", who the fuck needs these arguments?

    We all want to learn,intensely-- shouldn't that be enough for us to stop abusing our judgmental proclivities? It's fine to be humbly proud of high performance--good for you and I, and all that shit. But beyond that, this place is so stressful and doing this is unhealthy. And all too often, getting "the grade" is just beyond ethic-- sometimes we get too stressed or anxious and things don't work out. So before people start dividing themselves based on whether you get As or not, how about you start being a bit more sensitive and consider the well-being of your classmates? So many of my friends and I physically suffered because of stress this semester, and you all know how much of an issue it's become in the past few months. Pitting yourselves against one another is ignorant, so try to just be content with yourselves wherever you may be and get over it. It makes everyone look butt-hurt. You all don't want to be part of the problem, do you?

  24. @17, I'm not judging OP for making good grades. I'm judging OP for placing so much importance on their grades that they describe looking at them as "masturbatory" and then brag about it anonymously on the internet.

    I'm also judging OP for writing such a colossally douchy post--bragging about their fantastic grades while other people are probably still nervously waiting for theirs.

    I reached my shut-in assumption by combining the factors above. Mixing colossal douche with massive grade obsession generally doesn't correlate with a strong social life.


  25. Hi 24.

    Have you convinced yourself that you were right all along, and the problem was that I misinterpreted you? :)


  26. Hi 25.

    That's exactly what happened. My initial comment wasn't a simple jab that I wrote on a whim. Instead it was a manifestation of my internal frustrations from making bad grades, and I just wanted to lash out at someone who I'm jealous of. Your eloquent, well informed psychological diatribe hit the nail on the head and I will now have to reevaluate my life and place my priorities on academics and how I will answer my future childrens' questions. And now you have me backed into a corner where I have to convince myself that you misinterpreted me in order to save face.

    Or.. maybe I just felt like shitting on the OP because in the words of #13 she's being a "stupid cocky cunt."

  27. Hi 26.

    I like the first explanation better. :)

    You would've been more convincing if you had omitted the second. Why are you saying things like "I just felt like shitting on the OP"? Also, why did you use the words of #13. Did you seriously think that #13 put it best when they said "stupid cocky cunt." That is such a ridiculous and offensive phrase. I don't know why you thought that would be persuasive. I guess this is just the language of your people, and you're trying to persuade them and not me.

    (Thanks for mirroring my writing style, by the way. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.)

    Enjoy the holidays.

  28. This is just getting ugly.

    I think both 16 and 17 have their reasons for posting and reasons why their posts have valid arguments. It's an individual's right to celebrate his/her hard efforts coming to fruition. At the same time, some people could have felt an "in your face" feel to this ISY post.

    People were offended and were offending others back. Whatever. Let's all just move on with our lives. Finals are over, and hopefully we'll all be able to catch a break. Sleep, eat, have a great break, y'all, and let's move on from this bash-party. Haters gonna hate. Masturbaters gonna masturbate.

  29. 0/10 would not bang

  30. Lol 27 is a cunt

  31. My favorite part is the passive aggressive smileys :)

  32. @30 I would so love to taste your cunt. I love sexy, aggressive girls. This goes to all the girls here.

  33. @32 I hope you don't mind my cunt being a little cocky. We can take turns

  34. I bet OP is fat, that's why she can only masturbate instead of getting some.

  35. So many of you are cogs in a capitalist machine that makes even the acquisition of knowledge about production instead of discovery.

  36. @35:

  37. @35

    I can't believe everyone subscribes to the military industrial complex BS. #occupy #wakeupsheeple

  38. I think it is rude of OP to post something like this. It shows great insensitivity to those who may not have earned the marks that they wanted.

    Yes OP, you should stop staring at your grades. They mean something, but not nearly everything.

  39. @26: 8/10, would fap again. Solid effort, sir.

  40. @38 Rude? Really? I'm easily in the bottom 10% of MIT, and I found the post a bit creepy, but not really /rude/.

  41. I agree with @40
    it's just a stupid post, really.

  42. Op clearly posted to get a reaction out of you fools. Looks like it worked! I'd be lol-ing if I were op right now

  43. You stare at your grades and it makes you masturbatory?

    Funny, I stare at my grades and it makes suicidy.

  44. +1 hahahaha (@43)

  45. @1 & 4: +1 for trying to fix a problem and giving OP the benefit of the doubt, even if she did turn out to be a bitch (albeit one with a commanding and nuanced grasp of English).

  46. @29. Agreed brah. Which bishes get too cocky, you cock could no longer get it in.

  47. I don't see 4 trying to offer a script. Dealing with certs is annoying, and many people don't code at all.

  48. Nah, I feel OP. My GPA is no 5.0, but it's a point higher than last semester and I feel like telling everyone I know. OP, this may have been a fact better shared with your close friends and family, but the resulting conversation made me think and LOL at the same time. Kudos.

    Let's just all do better! Imagine if we all got 5.0s? And all crazy/cool stories to tell our kids? Anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year!

  49. wow... only at MIT would anyone give 3 shits about this thread...

    just do your best in school and check your grades periodically. Oh nos I wasted 4 seconds checking Websis today, we need an advanced email reminder system wahhhhh

    come on, even if this is a good idea, it's not worth the 4 seconds you waste each day checking. cumulative total of time wasted = 6 minutes per semester @ $10 per hour (avg UROP pay) = $1. Compare this to the actual amount of time the nerd(s) will have to work writing and implementing the script ~100 man hours = $1000. Not worth wasting $999.

  50. @49 You fail at numbers.

  51. OP, I'll bet you $100 my grade report is better

  52. No thanks, I'm not really into exhibitionism.

  53. @52 Dafuq?

  54. OP and @51 were made for each other. What pricks.

  55. @48: My GPA skyrocketed between the ends of my freshman and soph years, but I never got the urge to tell anyone. Maybe we hang out in very different parts of MIT, but I always felt that on campus GPA was something usually kept private, even between friends. Is that not how it is in your social group?

  56. @50
    I fail at numbers. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

  57. Where the fuck is my popcorn

  58. @49, you have misrepresented entirely the cost that our Websis system currently imposes on students by grossly oversimplifying and accounting for just strictly objective measures of time. You completely neglected the significant social cost/negative externality associated with the constant psychological nagging tied to not knowing when students' grades are posted, and the resulting responsibility and burden--to actively remember to check--students inherit because they have no reminder system in place. The current cost is far more than that stemming from time spent checking Websis, which is trivial and actually serves to momentarily reduce stress by constituting an instance of "knowing" the status of grades.

    The brunt of the cost stems from continuously thinking about when a grade(s) will be submitted throughout the day, which wastes time and energy, and leads to unnecessary stress on students during precious breaks from school. Implementing "an [not so] advanced email reminder system," as you so eloquently put it, would completely eliminate the stress on students because they would be ensured that they will know their grades as soon as they are released, and can therefore feel comfortable forgetting about their grades until an email instructs them to check. The burden of periodically checking Websis would no longer exist with a guarantee of knowing when marks will be made available.

    I suspect that the actual social cost of our current system (for a single term or round of Websis fun) could be reduced by far more than the effective one-time lump cost of implementation. The cost would of course be further offset (and NPV of the tool proven more favorable) through use in subsequent terms.

    I highly recommend a course in economics if you have not yet taken one.

  59. @17 Did you know that sometimes it's possible to both get a 5.0 and have crazy stories? And that having crazy stories does not preclude the possibility that you'll have good answers to life's important questions 15 years from now when your kids are old enough to ask them? The fact that you take offense at 16 calling you a shut-in means that you must at least partially understand that you could be missing out by only focusing on grades. Also, obligatory comment about how grades don't necessarily reflect learning or work ethic.

  60. @55 I felt like telling all my friends, I didn't actually do it haha. Though everyone in my frat has a grade accountability system. We share our GPAs, what we're struggling with, and all that kind of stuff to support each other and keep each other focused.

  61. @49/56 If you're the same person...I doubt you're actually a sniper; if so, why waste time on this site? Either way, multiply your $1 of suffering per person times the 2000 undergrads alone and an email system quickly becomes cost-effective. And that's ignoring all of 58's points. Anyways, good luck with that gorilla warfare; I hear its bananas.

    If people think this would seriously improve their MIT experience, you should email Seriously, that's what they're here for; they just need to know enough students want something so they can work to get it done.

  62. @61 The UA doesn't do shit. Even SCEP sucked balls this term.

  63. @62, have faith! they did wonders with the dining plan.

  64. Wonders? We lost Sepal!

    Never forget >_<